Restorer of Peace

Restorer of Peace

Who is the Restorer of Peace?

I have worked in field Women's Holistic Wellness for over 15 years and I specialize in coaching women to spiritual and emotional wholeness. I conduct Wellness Workshops, Transformative One-on-One Coaching, Sister Circles, Sister Sweats, Fitness Activities and an upcoming training on "Dismantling the Myth of the Strong Black Woman". I am committed to equipping women with the truth of who they are and empowering them to act on that knowledge.

27 October 2010

A Fierce Angel Is Me!

I am soft, humble, human

I am powerful, sharp, quick-witted

I am seductive, sexy, kind, considerate

I am a fighter, lover, mother, teacher

I tear down walls with my works and words

I give birth to children, revolution

I am Co-Creator; producing life, making life, livin' life, givin' life - "and I'll take it away"

I am soft seductive hips and plump lips

I am sharp tongue, rolling eyes and cocking neck

I am in love with black but wanting what lillies have

I am entitled to love but asking for it's substitute

I am a freedom fighter but heart is tied up within the struggle

I am free to soar and yet I prefer to climb

I am ... without form ...
This was written after I read this compelling book about the Strong Black Woman
Thank you sister Sheri Parks

Got Peer Pressure???

Peer pressure is good! Yes, it is!

This is a principle that my bestie and I swear by. We believe that if you surround yourself with dynamic people you will be compelled to be better. There's something about being in the company of people that are passionate and progressive that forces you to stand taller, think deeper, see further and ... dream bigger.

Surrounding yourself with dynamic people helps you to see what is possible. Seeing someone else work toward their PhD. can be an encouragement to you to go back to school and complete your degree. Hearing someone talk passionately about a conference they are organizing can remind you of a service project that you always wanted to do. Being in the company of movers and shakers helps you to feel better about yourself. You begin to see THE possibilities and YOUR possibility. When you're in their company, you feel great and you go in your trenches to work on making your possibilities realities. You work on manifesting your dream because you're empowered and ... because you want to stay in relationship with the group or person. This is where the pressure comes from. You want, more than ever, to be a better you and remain in relationship with the person/people that are like-minded. You're almost pressured to stay in their company and if the ticket is to be about something, then you make sure that you always have yours.

I have been in the company of several individuals and groups that have brought out the best in me just by the power of association and ... pressure :). True growth takes place within the context of community. It is within these relationships that I feel empowered, encouraged and compelled, even, to be better, do better, think better, love better, live better.

My relationships with my best friends give me just enough pressure to push me to be dynamic because I want to add value to my life and theirs. My relationship with the Fastgirls, a powerful clan of women, is all about the power of positive peer pressure because the nature of our work is forward moving. We encourage each other toward lasting transformation as individuals and recognize the power that our community has in facilitating that progress.

I am convinced that positivity is urbane, savvy and powerful enough to penetrate our relationships , infect us and glue us together. Within this glue is growth, commitment, forward thinking, progressive action, affirmation, conviction, accountability, truth, courage, risk-taking, liberty, perseverance, understanding, tenacity ...

What relationships are you in that pressure you to be better?

If you aren't in a positive peer pressure relationship, what can you do to find someone?

Perhaps you can be that someone to someone else?

What ways can you foster this relationship with your bestie, co-worker, staff, partner, organization, church, mosque, temple???

Can ANYTHING Good Come Out of Being vulnerable???

When you hear that word, what happens?
What image, word, thought, comes to mind?

Can you think of a situation in your life where you've been vulnerable and the result was positive? Why? What made you feel like you could be vulnerable?

What would your life be like if you were more vulnerable?

How would it affect your family? friends? children? mother? father? mate? husband?

Could you, would you be vulnerable enough to leave a comment?

Picture This ... A Legacy of Self-Care

The change that I see HAS to begin with me and ... YOU but there are challenges ...

The challenges to the change that I want to see are not rooted in any institution within the U.S. They are not challenges that we have to go to the government to march or petition about. They are challenges that lie within the mind of every black woman in America that may have uttered or thought the following:

“I’m a strong black woman, this is what I do. If I don’t do it, I’m considered weak and I am definitely NOT weak. Strength is in my blood.”

“I’m not crazy! I don’t need counseling!”

“Depressed? Black women don’t get depressed, that's for white people.”

“I got Jesus, and He’s all I need – not therapy.”


Convincing black women that there is strength in vulnerability is not an easy feat. Showing them that accepting help and support from someone is an excellent way to experience love would take a change of heart, mind and spirit. The change that I see is a transformation in the way that black women think and their perspective of their place in the world. It would require that they admit that the level of responsibility that they believe they have is excessive and impossible to meet while remaining whole.

I combat the myth of the strong black woman and the idea that the responsibility that they take on (without boundaries) is causing them mental and physical disease by simply talking to them. I listen attentively and ask questions to make them think about the consequences of the choices that they make. I do work that facilitates self-love, unconditional love, asking for and receiving help and support. Most of the women that I work with are aware of the myth’s affect in their lives. However, I need to reach the women that don’t know and aren’t convinced.

Dismantling this myth has to become a movement. This has to become a movement of women that are willing to develop the habit of taking care of themselves so that one day, taking care of yourself becomes a legacy for ALL women.

What is your self-care regimen?

What are the things you do for you?

Where are some places that you go to recharge?

This movement starts with ... YOU ...

This Story is Not My Own

I have been surrounded by powerful, strong, dynamic black women for most of my life. I have painstakingly watched my family members, extended family, mentors, and spiritual leaders in hopes of gleaning from them lessons on living. There was something about them that made them unbreakable. I was determined to be like them. I was determined to make sure that I was a help to my family and not a hindrance; that I stood up for what was right; that no one would ever see me as weak, no matter what the cost.

I was, like most girls and young adults, determined to continue the legacy of strength that I inherited and observed. Years later I realized that the idea of maintaining an image of strength was destroying who I was and kept me from really experiencing love. This led me to have an emotional breakdown that nearly destroyed my life. I was so consumed with not allowing myself to feel the hurt, abandonment, grief, and disappointment that it manifested itself in the form of physical disease.

I am not different from most black women in America. Black women are the leading group in America that experience somatization which is physical distress in response to psychosocial stress. That physical distress manifests as high blood cholesterol, high blood pressure, obesity, high triglyceride levels, stress - which cause heart disease which is the leading cause of death in black women in America.

My journey to wellness has shown me that it is paramount for me to be in touch with my emotions and be able to express them. Not tapping into my emotional state or needs can be the difference between life and death.I want to use social media to be that voice for black women in America and all over the world. I want to show them that bearing the weight of the world (by taking on the needs of their families, friends, co-workers without boundaries) is killing them. I want to break the cycle for younger women and show them a new example of what womanhood is. I will use my voice to guide women to identifying the areas in their lives that they may need to let go of or redefine and give them a liberated zone by which they can express themselves. I want to give the women an example of the power of unconditional love and vulnerability. Social media is an excellent way for them to be able to test out these skills. I see social media as an outlet to stir up conversation and generate ideas on living a life where women can be intentional about identifying their feelings and shaping their lives.

A high price was paid for who I am
And yet, I am free
Today I fly on lightened wings

Self-Determination - A REBELLION

There is so much out there (outside of my door, on my nightstand, in my living room, at my desk, in my head) that is contrary to who I am. These words and images sneak, march, stomp their way into my mind and convince me that we are the same. WE ARE NOT. I am not flat, stagnant and I do not fit into a box. I am round and square; soft and angular, ever-changing, dynamic. I cannot be contained, even within my own fears and limitations.
The truth of who i am cannot be crushed or hidden.
So I speak to her (my truth) and acknowledge her.

She is my Affirmation - My definition of Myself

Here I AM Positive

I am Positive
Yesterday I was, today I am, tomorrow I will be
My words are positive
My works are positive
My intentions are love, hope, progress, peace
My intentions are positive
Positivity has possessed my mind
Positivity has control over my body
Positivity radiates through my live center to everyone that sees me, hears me, feels me touches me
My spirit is positive
My soul is positive


12 October 2010

A Woman's Voice ... Necessary

A Woman's voice soothes
A Woman's voice nurtures
A Woman's voice convicts
A Woman's voice excites
A Woman's voice cuts
A Woman's voice heals
A Woman's voice hurts
A Woman's voice changes
A Woman's voice screams
A Woman's voice whispers
A Woman's voice seduces


Love and Acceptance
A Voice and an Ear
A stir to Action and quiet assistance in being Still
Camaraderie and Collective Work
Acknowledgement and Correction
Engagement and Rebirth


My Strength

My strength is internal; it does not depend on what I do for others but how I care for myself
My strength is finding freedom in boundaries; being able to say yes when I can and no when I won’t
My strength is not in the amount of burdens that I juggle
Nor the fact that many count on me to alleviate their woes

Love is my strength

Loving me preserves me and renews my peace
Receiving love propels me to experience more
Giving love frees me to love unconditionally

Love … really is … my strength


A new day is on its way! A new day of promise, love, liberty, and peace it’s so close I can see it! A new day where old things are done in new ways is within our grasp! That new day is now because it starts with me! I am the change I want to see. I am a woman whose past has propelled her to a bright future. I am not bound by past situations and circumstances for I use them as lessons to be learned and taught to others. I am a woman in love with myself, compelled to share it and eager to receive it. I now know that my success is determined by my willingness to love and be loved. I now know that receiving help is an act of love. Today, I am convinced that I am loveable.

What I want for myself, I want for my community and the world - healing. I want for women to be healed of physical disease caused by emotion and spiritual imbalance. I want women to be relieved of the idea that they must take on the cares and weight of the world at their own expense. There is a mindset and practice that exists within the black community (black women included) and throughout America that has caused black women to take on the cares of anyone they are in relationship with. While it is part of a woman’s nature to assist, fix, nurture, protect, and heal, black women in America have a legacy of doing it for others without first doing it for themselves. This legacy is the myth that black women are stronger than any other woman and therefore able to care for more others more than anyone else. Maintaining the title “strong black women” has cost the black women their physical and emotional health.

I want to be part of the solution. I work with women, at a grassroots level, on dismantling this myth by showing them that what they think of as strength is crippling and what they think of as weak is empowering. I show them that a life without boundaries is not strength but being vulnerable and asking for help and support is. The change that I want to see would need to reach far and wide; to places I may never visit. It would be a revolution of words that sweep across nations to stir women to act by thinking differently, acting differently, raising their daughters differently …
My words would spark change and heal …

These words that I assert are power-packed.
They can transform your mind; they can hurt or heal.
These words heal.
These words inform you.
They impress upon you the truth of who you are.
These words soothe you as you look deep inside of yourself and find the hurt that you’ve suppressed.
These words empower you to work, dig, work-out your hurt and come out golden.
These words will challenge you to relationships with boundaries - they liberate you.
These words infuse you with love, hope, power, peace, freedom, joy and you spread these words EVERYWHERE!!!
These words are eternal … they live on and on and on … their message is old but their work will be brand new … in you and you and you and you …