Restorer of Peace

Restorer of Peace

Who is the Restorer of Peace?

I have worked in field Women's Holistic Wellness for over 15 years and I specialize in coaching women to spiritual and emotional wholeness. I conduct Wellness Workshops, Transformative One-on-One Coaching, Sister Circles, Sister Sweats, Fitness Activities and an upcoming training on "Dismantling the Myth of the Strong Black Woman". I am committed to equipping women with the truth of who they are and empowering them to act on that knowledge.

24 November 2010

Excellence Striver here ...

Do you organize the dollar bills in your wallet so that they are in descending order and facing the same way?
If someone gives you a stack of papers, do you beat them on a hard surface until all of the papers are lined up to a straight edge?
Do you have a hard time reading or writing text messages because there are too many abbreviations, typos and grammatical errors? Do you spell out EVERY word because you can’t stand seeing those squiggly lines?


Do you think that any of these things make you a perfectionist? Well, they don’t. A perfectionist is someone that needs to do everything perfectly. Perfectionists set standards for themselves and other people that are unattainable. Seriously, no one is perfect.

Being a perfectionist means that you are never satisfied. Before you cringe because I said that “satisfied”, let me qualify that - it means that you don’t take the time to acknowledge what you have done. It means that you are living in the past or the future and do not recognize the power that you have in the moment.

Perfectionism is the mother of inactivity. In some cases perfectionism is stifling, you are afraid that you will not do something perfectly so you don’t try at all. You procrastinate, you tell yourself that you really weren’t interested in doing it, you allow yourself to get distracted by something else.

Perfectionism kills your self-esteem. The amount of negative self-talk that a perfectionist does can fill a landfill. That voice tells you what you should have could have done, differently. This is a cocktail for anxiety and isolation. Phew!
Perfectionism is something that I strive to overcome daily. I am intentional about acknowledging the things that I do because that motivates me to do more. When I set an intention to make changes in my life, I look at the integrity of my work. Did I give it my all? Was I fully committed to the process? These questions determine my integrity and not perfection. There is no judgment, no negative self-talk, no guilt. If I wasn’t fully committed, I have to reassess whether or not I really want to make that change. If I didn’t give it my all, I ask myself, “what can I do today to get back on board to accomplish my goal?”

When you operate from a place of integrity instead of perfectionism, you allow yourself to make mistakes, chose to do something else without guilt, and feel good about yourself for the positive steps that you’ve taken.

Maybe you’re not a perfectionist. Maybe you have a standard, an attainable one, and you strive for excellence. Then you are on the right track. When you strive for excellence you are invested in the process. You give it your all because there is joy in the process. If there are setbacks, you don’t blame yourself and give up, you reassess and make adjustments. People that strive for excellence are motivated by their goals, not held captive by them. Excellence strivers have positive self-talk because they are motivated by the love they have for what they do and not motivated by the fear of what they will look like if they don’t do it.

If you are a perfectionist, I encourage you to be an excellence striver. Practice integrity in all that you do. Acknowledge the positive steps you take, no matter how small. Abolish negative self-talk and replace it with the truth about who you are.

1 comment:

  1. I love this. I am a Perfectionist in reform. I am striving to do my best in all area of my life and when the negative self talk pops up I reframe and push forward. Striving for my best makes me feel good, whereas striving for perfection has never had a good outcome.

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