Relationships are work. In order for us to be successful in our relationships, we have to be intentional about keeping them alive. When you think about the people in your life that have successful relationships, examine their methodology. How do they do it? What do they do? Why do they do it? If you ask them, they may or may not be able to pinpoint one thing; it might just be a feeling. It could be intimacy. Intimacy is a closeness, familiarity, a state of being lovingly close to someone. You share an intimate bond with someone when you can finish one another’s sentences or sense when your mate is apprehensive or angry without them saying a word. Intimacy is what enables you to pick up on unspoken cues, it sustains you when you are away from one another for a period of time, and it fuels you and makes you eager to see one another again and again. It cannot be forced, it requires trust and vulnerability, it happens when you least expect it. I’ve listed five steps that you can take with your significant other to help you experience intimacy.
1. Set the intention that you will be present in the moment.
2. Prepare a meal together (it could be one of your favorites or something new and different. I recommend “Down Home with the Neely’s” by Patrick and Gina Neely if you’re looking for a cookbook. And they are simply a romantic couple.)
3. Set the atmosphere with candles, aromatherapy, music (Kindred The Family Soul’s Surrender to Love is cool OR anything by Will Downing)
4. Read and act out an excerpt from Songs of Solomon (it’s in the Bible, three books after Psalms. Here’s a quick excerpt: The Woman says: Kiss me – full on the mouth! As an apricot tree stands out in the forest, my lover stands above the young men in town. All I want is to sit in his shade, to taste and savor his delicious love. He took me home for a festive meal, but his eyes feasted on me!)
5. Dessert is on you …
Who is the Restorer of Peace?
I have worked in field Women's Holistic Wellness for over 15 years and I specialize in coaching women to spiritual and emotional wholeness. I conduct Wellness Workshops, Transformative One-on-One Coaching, Sister Circles, Sister Sweats, Fitness Activities and an upcoming training on "Dismantling the Myth of the Strong Black Woman". I am committed to equipping women with the truth of who they are and empowering them to act on that knowledge.