At this very moment, I am waiting along with a friend, on the results of a test that can affect the rest of my friend’s life. She has postponed this appointment two times with 2 really great “excuses” but I was NOT going to let her avoid it this time. The disease is not life-threatening but if the tests indicate that she has it, it can affect the quality of her life. She’s afraid – not of death but of how her life will impact those that she loves. She’s the one that takes care of everyone else and she wonders how they will fair if she cannot. Right now, she has positioned herself to be the one that everyone comes to for help, so she wonders how they will react if she cannot help them. What do you think the answer to those questions will be? Her deepest fear is that her friends, family and loved ones will turn away because she is no longer of use to them. Do you believe that to be true? Her deepest fear is that she will be a burden to her family and that their lives will be ruined because she cannot be there for them. Do you believe that to be true?
As she sat there in the doctor’s office for what seemed like an eternity, for them to call her she said, “I’m just gonna stick it out and hope for the best”. I got goose bumps. She already has the best! She is brilliant, giving, and creative. She has a supportive husband, two beautiful kids that adore her (of course they do), a loving mother, wonderful friends that have been through “life” with her by their sides, and co-workers that confirm and affirm her. This illness would not be easy or pretty. But there are possibilities that lie within this illness that she can use to improve the quality of her life. This illness would be a test of the best to prove to her how strong her best really is. It would be her opportunity to allow all of the people in her life to show up. She’s not stingy when it comes to sharing herself and I am confident that the people in her life are waiting for the opportunity to be there for her. I am sure that they would be willing to do everything short of take the illness on themselves.
For all of you out there that give your all to your friends, family and co-workers, when was the last time you received something from them? Are you so busy doing for others that you don’t recognize it when someone wants to give you something? Can you decipher what receiving feels like? Open up, let someone in, and allow them to express their love to you. You haven’t truly experienced love until you’ve given and received it.
Whether or not my friend has the disease that the doctors say will affect the quality of her life, I want her to know that the quality of her life is not determined by what she can do for others but by her ability to give and receive love. That, I know, will not be affected by any illness!!!